An update…progress is good?

Well, sorry I haven’t been too talkative as of late. There have been so many changes, revelations, and just plain lessons.

If you want to catch up, you can read my adventure

I don’t really know what to title this… an update,

and

What is put in front of us…an update

and

Thank You LORD…an update

and

Feeling more than blessed :) and update

and

I need prayers please

God blessed us with a wonderful place to stay while our home was being repaired then Hurricane Dorian blew threw, The blessing soon came to an end as when we returned to the condo it had been flooded, and we were without a place to stay.

A preacher had replaced the felon who originally started repairs to our home. The preacher assured us that for a price, $55,000.00 everything on the list of repairs would be done. We had to purchase the cabinets, the carpet, and flooring but everything from the studs up would be replaced, and all the windows, and flooring would be installed.

Well, Ecclesiasted later began to change his word.

He said things like, “your husband told me not to worry about this and that.” As if we didn’t need windows or flooring, or a kitchen.

I stood with him in my yard going over the list.

We had drawn out a full diagram of our home, and a diagram of all the rooms and listed everything that had to be done. He called and said everything on the the list is $55,000.00 we just had to buy the flooring and caninets but the installation of those things plus the repairs were included.

After 2 hours in my yard discussing this he told me, “I never looked at the list”

So, now I know where we stood.

The work he did was sub-par to put it nicely.

Crooked walls, paint pealing, bows in walls, nails popping threw, lines and mounds where the tape and puddy lines. I have pictures I will post. You can tell me if “I am just being picky” since that is what the preacher told me.

So, here we sit. Living in the building behind our house. Sleeping on a couch, and finishing the repairs ourselves.

The cleaning crew I had to hire because after a week of tryig to clean, since the workers didn’t clean one day while they were here(something Ecclesiates promised they would do) and running my HVAC system the WHOLE time, (while cutting wood inside, sanding, etc. ) so it had to be cleaned too, the cleaning crew told me they were so upset for me because of how BAD the work was done.

They said from my tub and sinks that are 16 years old how well I had taken care of our house, for these people, a man of God no less, destroyed our home. We have hard water, and they said mine were like brand new, as if they had never been used, so they KNEW I had always been maticulous with the things God provided us.

So, we will be installing the cabinets and flooring ourselves, even though we paid some one, a man of God as he so affectionately likes to refer to himself, to do the work. We will have to purchase the window, and install them ourselves, we will be sanding, mudding, and repainting every wall in our home, although as I said, we paid a man of God to do all this work for us.

The carpet we will have to pay someone else to do, even thought we have already paid, well, as I said a man of God to do this.

It has really caused me to doubt my judgment. God has always blessed me with being able to discern people. I have heard more than once that I have always been able to “see” right through people. Now I am doubting that.

I know God has a reason, a season, a lesson here for me to learn. I hope I learn it quickly as I am getting tired with this whole period in my life.

Praise the LORD for I know when I am weak, as I am now, He is strong. If not for knowing He is merciful, I don’t know what I would do.

I thank God for blessing everyone reading this.

 

It is God.

Over the past few post I have written were about what I affectionately call my deep dark pit of despair. I was so overwhelmed with the support of everyone. Y’all gave me encouragement beyond measure. Verses, insights, and experiences. For that I am so thankful that everyone is so supportive to everyone else here on the blogs :)

Writing has the issue, I feel, of not conveying tone. It’s why I don’t write much, or can’t convey the right tone sometimes.

The past posts were more for an issue that I’ve been dealing with, a testimony. I read that I am kind, nice, sweet, etc. These always throw me off. I immediately think, that’s God if you felt, saw, read, received it in any good way.

It is God.

I was feeling eh, you know? Irritable, grumbling about something, open my wordpress to see how kind I am. Really?

It feels quite hypocritical to have people read your words and praise you. Especially when I keep trying to say, if you see that from any where in my vicinity, It is God.

It does make me feel Good, I feel, ok praise God with His help I am becoming the child He wants me to be. Realize that the praise from others edifies but can become about self. It’s best to point that praise into the direction it should be pointed, God :) Otherwise, it’s 1 step forward, 3 steps back, right?

Talking about my deep dark pit of despair :) isn’t a whoa is me post. It’s a testimony. It is a post of praise to the Almighty God that even in that pit. He is with me. I am lacking nothing.

If I am there, it’s because I dug it, and crawled right in there :)

But even there God is doing everything. He is in every element in my body, and all the ones that make up all that I see, smell, hear :) He is treating me like a loving Father.

Example: Tears can be streaming, the world falling apart from my viewpoint. God will put me in a situation, where I will be able to feel the breeze, hear birds singing, trees rustling. Feeling the warmth of the sun. This is one example. There are hundreds more. God is capable of the most loving acts when we are weak.

The world is crumbling, in my eyes, and God will wrap me right in all of the above, and I am blessed.

That blessing could go on forever but I am me. It doesn’t. I will be praising God’s Holy name. Then honestly, 10 minutes later I could be grumbling about something.

Again proving it is a me issue. God is there doing everything. From the physical(my heart, lungs, organs) The path He wants me to take. He has infinite patience because He knows how easily I get distracted. Plus He is doing that for every other living thing in the world.

The point of discussing it is to be honest as to where the Good comes from, and that there will be struggles. In those God is still blessing us beyond measure.

Being in that deep dark pit of despair doesn’t diminish mine or any one else’s faith. Doesn’t mean doubts are creeping in causing questions to cloud discernment. Through it all, I can open my Bible and someone is in a deep dark pit of despair. Crying, praying, talking to God about it. The verses, God’s Word, is praying for me :) Also proving to me that God knows what I am going through. It’s like He is saying, I heard you for the past hour, day, week, months, years :)

I pray it proves to others that you can be going through the worst of it, and find so much to be thankful for in our LORD.

 

Deep Dark Pit of Despair

Have you ever been there?

I’ve found myself in a deep dark pit of despair for about a year and a half.

Shocker. I know. But it happens. Don’t cry for me. I am not alone. The Almighty Creator of everything is my constant companion. The only One. Everyone says God didn’t promise us a rose garden.

Different variations but something to that effect.

Actually, I feel, He did.

It is within us to seize that and make it real.

Do what God wants us to do. Whatever that is.

Comfortable?

Not always but necessary to grow and extend past here.

God is not a part time job.

He requires quite a bit.

And yet He also requires so little because He knows we aren’t capable of a lot. :)

Faith. Belief. Really very simple things to accomplish. Didn’t have to run out and fetch the first born of everything. Without blemish. Sacrifice, and all that, that entails.

No sacrifices. There was a last One.

And

God made it. His only begotten :)

God doesn’t play.

He really doesn’t need us. He wants us. The Creator of all that is and will ever be wants us.

He will show us over and over that it is all Him. About Him. For His glory. Praise His name from the time you wake up until the peaceful sleep He bestows on you :)

The breathe you breath while you are at it. Or is it the breath you breathe. Let me know in the comments below :)

I love God. I love that He loves me no matter what. His love is infinite. Patience the same. But that doesn’t mean there is no punishment for my actions. I would expect nothing less from any loving Father.

He is quick to anger…when I am defiant. When He is not the Center. That’s not His fault.

Those valleys are lots of time self inflicted wounds. God is leading me this way. I see something shiney or honestly think I can help the Creator of all. Then there I go off in the thickets.

I know. One day I will learn but always remain a child because of Him there is no understanding.

The Almighty LORD always has something to teach me. His teachings are from everlasting to everlasting. There is no beginning or end to the thing God can teach us.

The LORD is the only one in the equation that is in control. We are either learning, receiving revelations, blessings, or praise God all of the above.

It will  take an eternity. Therefore He created us to live for eternity.

From Adam to now. The only true thing is God. He has shown us that we need Him.

Once again proving God’s Love. Charity. Mercy. The list is infinite.

Once again proving God is everything.

He will provide. When He is the Center, and that is up to us. :)

When we praise His merciful name from sunup to sundown. Glory given, praise, confirmation of salvation through Jesus Christ. Praise God for doing for us what we were not capable of doing ourselves.

There are thousands of things to praise God for. If we can’t think of at least 12 right this minute then we are not trying hard enough. I might venture to say ungrateful comes to mind. :)

The despair might last for a moment, an hour, a day, a month, or a year. God is there.

He feels the pain we feel. The struggles, the anguish , frustrations. Again, another infinite list.

God always is on this pretty manicured path. Flowers flanking each side. I always start out fairly well. Following the LORD. Content with the nice adventure.

The next thing I know I am over as far as I can get in the ditch with mud up to my knees. All upset :) My wagon is stuck. It’s heavy too with all the things I picked up along the way on the path of good intentions, temptations, and somehow thinking I’m grown. I can do this.

But there is the LORD. Waiting on me. I am but dust. Yet, He is right there teaching, guiding, loving me every step of the way. Setting me up for glorious success.

Another thing to add to the list to thank God for today if you were struggling to get to 12  :)

That deep dark pit of despair isn’t the home God wants for us. He wants none of us to perish. Think of your children, brother, sister, cousin. You wouldn’t want one of the people you know to perish. God knows us all. God wants none of us to perish.

His love is infinitely more than we can comprehend. No one can love at His level.

He Gave His only Son. Y’all would have been on your own if that was up to me.

My only begotten? Take a second and seriously think about it. Would you do that for us?